I woke up last night and stayed up. Watching movies, laying in the dark, sivanasana, eating vegetarian corn dogs...trying to stay away from the ice cream.

I fell back asleep after 4. I woke up, splitting headache and melted ice creams running out of my ears. Why couldn't I capture my dream a little longer, of running cheese strands, sticky door knobs and parents who thought they knew. But I was small in it...with scabbed over knees and a runny nose. I was rolling my eyes at everyone those days.

Now, I feel the same. I am too aware of what I do...so i just stand still...let my instinctual actions run over me like cool water, waking me up, holding me in a place of alert, awake...

My eyelids were frozen shut this morning with sand and regret...

Now, I